I realize July is half over, but how was your celebration of our nation’s independance? Rick and I were able to get away for the weekend and spent it up at Red Feathers Lakes, in the mountains north of Ft. Collins. It was a fun trip and we were able to see a fireworks show that rivaled any we had ever seen in the metro area. I spent time sleeping and reading, but mostly sleeping. I was able to finish The Shack though and that got me thinking about something.

I decided to read the book because it was given to me by a close friend and I heard a tremendous amount of buzz. Some good. Some bad. I personally had to put the book down for awhile at least once as I wrestled with the way some of the ideas were being communicated (suppose that’s the trouble with Christian fiction??). Anyway, no matter what you think of the book or it’s theology, there is one message that spoke to me louder than life.

Humanity’s constant insistance on independance.

Throughout Mack’s (the main character) encounter with the three members of the Trinity he is consistently faced with the implications of this one simple idea. And even though it’s been a few weeks now since I’ve put the book on the shelf, I keep considering my own independance and wondering if I will ever learn how to fully depend on God.

From strong passages like 2 Corinthians 1:5-10 to simple ones like Proverbs 16:3 my head begins to understand. But then I pull into the garage after a long day and reflect back… did I really depend on Him fully throughout the day? Nope. Failed miserably.

This last week I had one particularly tough day. I did everything I could to shake the overwhelming sense of just wanting to drive off a cliff:

  • Prayed and asked the Lord for immediate guidance.
  • Tried to focus on the task at hand – be a professional and don’t sweat it.
  • Talked with Rick.
  • Took a long, hot shower.
  • Prayed some more.
  • Talked to TJ.
  • Had a good cry.
  • Prayed some more.
  • Went to bed early.

Yeah. I still have a long way to go.

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