I recently lost a young friend. She was 27 years old and six months pregnant with her third child. I had first met Lois when she was a high school student and joined my senior high girls small group. She was full of energy and joy for the Lord. Later, she came to work at Dare 2 Share while she was in college. She lit up the office with her smile.
Although I hadn’t kept in touch much with Lois over the past several years, her sudden passing jolted me in a way I can’t really explain. I struggled with a heavy cloud of sadness for days and still haven’t quite been able to shake it. I keep trying to grasp why the Lord would allow me (someone not that close to her) to feel this way. I even considered that maybe I was struggling with depression and this tragedy just triggered it somehow.
Then on Sunday, as I continued my “wisdom quest,” the Lord took me to Ecclesiastes 7. Here I was studying Soloman, and God decides to talk to me about death! Look at verses 3-4:
Sorrow is better than laughter, for sadness has a refining influence on us. A wise person thinks a lot about death, while a fool thinks only about having a good time.
My Bible’s notes talk about how people avoid death, not wanting to face it. I have always been that way. As a matter of fact, it’s easy for me to think of at least 3 funerals I purposely didn’t attend.
I think Solomon is trying to tell us that our sorrow should be used to help us understand how to priortize our lives and to give us a sense of urgency to fulfill our purpose here on this earth. As a matter of fact, look what I found a few chapters later in chapter 9:
Whatever you do, do well. For when you go to the grave, there will be no work or planning or knowledge or wisdom.
Thank you, Lois, for your reminder that we must live for the Lord every minute of every day! I will miss you!
I don’t want to miss it when it comes… the gift of wisdom, that is. So, I decided to try and understand exactly what it would look like. The Bible says wisdom from above looks like this:
But the wisdom from above is first of all pure. It is also peace loving, gentle at all times, and willing to yield to others. It is full of mercy and good deeds. It shows no favoritism and is always sincere. And those who are peacemakers will plant seeds of peace and reap a harvest of righteousness. James 3:17-18
Pure, peace loving, gentle, and willing to yield to others. Interestingly, my Bible also references Hebrews 12:11 where it talks about discipline not being pleasant at the time, but afterward that there is a “peaceful harvest of right living.” And as I have studied here and there about Soloman (he was the “wisest man ever to live” you know), it becomes pretty clear that even though the wisdom is given you must still make right choices. Solomon made some good choices and some bad ones.
So, last week I was supposed to meet Rick somewhere at 6:15. I told him I would leave the office at 6 and could be there by then without a problem. Well if you know me then you can guess pretty easily what happened next. I didn’t leave on time and he called my cell at 6:14 to tell me the place we were to meet was gone. I missed his call and then he didn’t pick up when I tried to call him back. Long story short, I drove around and finally went home. He was pretty disappointed and told me that my priorities were messed up (I consistently get home late, so his complaint is justified). I listened and held my tongue, then went upstairs to “cool off.” I was angry and felt like he was trying to punish me.
I came very close to getting into the car and running away. My desire was to try to punish him somehow since that’s what I felt he was trying to do to me. But I didn’t. Something (maybe wisdom, I don’t know) stopped me and as difficult as it was to swallow my pride, I confessed to him that I knew I’d blown it. And he was right… my priorities are messed up.
I love my husband and thank God for using him to remind me of what is right. Maybe the gift of wisdom is delivered through people too, what do you think?
Leading & Learning 