The sun set as we left Santa Avelina so we didn’t really get to see much of the town where we were to sleep for two nights. The hotel seemed nice compared to the surroundings but certainly NOTHING like the night before. I did get a little nervous as the locked gate opened to let the bus in and closed quickly after we parked. Hmmm…

 We shared dinner together and then got to bed by 9. Katie and I had the room next to the lobby. The furnishings were sparse, two double beds, a night stand, and desk with a mirror. One bed had a headboard and the other did not. The light fixture had no covering, just a light bulb sticking out of the wall. The bathroom had no light near the sink (it was torn out of the wall) but there was one by the shower. All I cared about was taking a hot shower and the water was scalding so I was happy.

 As soon as I laid my head on my pillow the doorbell rang. What? I swear it was right above my head. Then there were several conversations, it seemed like right next to my bed, all in Spanish. Then the doorbell again. And again. And again. Katie and I started to giggle. This must be how they find out someone is outside the locked gate. Now worries, I’m sure it would be over soon. Just closer your eyes and wait…

 Then we heard the yelling and screaming. Then dishes breaking. Then more yelling and screaming. All in Spanish. There was definitely a fight going on out there. “Should we be scared?” Katie asks. “Or are we just too tired to care?”

 “Too tired,” I reply, and we stay put. The commotion finally subsides and I can hear Katie’s “sleep breathing” in the bed next to me. But my body decides to begin trembling and no matter what I do I can’t get it to stop. For over an hour I try to control the crazy uncontrollable shakes without any success. My imagination kicks in and I wonder if I am going to have to wake Katie to go and get help. I decide to take something to see if it will help and within another hour or so I must have fell asleep. When the alarm goes off I assess how I feel and determine that I’m going to be fine. There’s no reason to alarm the rest of the team.

 On the agenda for breakfast was a visit from the pastor we heard the day before. As we sit down to share the meal with him and his wife of over 40 years, he begins to tell us about his journey. He talks about the Guerrillas who almost killed him in the 70’s. He shares about how God has delivered him time and time again from dangerous and life-threatening situations. I notice that his jacket is torn pretty badly but it’s obvious that he and his wife are in their best dress. I am so caught up in what he is saying and his obvious joy for the Lord, his people, and the children, that I seriously forget to eat. This moment, this simple breakfast with a pastor and his wife, moves me more than meeting the mounds of children at the project. The respect that I feel for this man of God is so deep that my standard for any man of clergy is now amped up by 10 notches. I don’t want to leave.

 The pastor and his wife join us on the bus and I am thrilled to spend a few more moments with them. On the way he stops to buy a 100-pound bag of salt and loads that on to the bus as well. When asked what the salt was for we find out that he portions it up and sells it.

 I am super excited to find out that Nic wants to jump off when we drop the pastor and his wife in order to take a photo. I am able to go as a “helper” and Tim allows Nic to take a photo of me with them as well. I will cherish that photo forever.

 The plan in Santa Avelina today is to split into two groups for home visits. Tim, Nic, and a local team will join Katie at Norma’s and Mark and I will visit another home of a Compassion-sponsored child with a few of the local staff. Our group heads up the hill to visit Miguel and his family.

 We come to a small shack on the side of the mountain and find that once again, it is decorated elaborately for our visit. Although a very small space, this family made a big deal about us coming to visit. We are greeted by all who live in the 3-room small space – Grandpa, mom and dad, and 6 children including 7-year-old Miguel. It takes about three minutes to see the whole space and as we stand by the wood fire stove Mark notices some medicine on a shelf. He asks if someone is sick and we learn that the medicine is to protect the children because one just died 15 days ago.

 My heart fell to my stomach as I looked into the eyes of this mother, graciously preparing tortillas for us, who had just lost her one-year-old little girl just over two weeks ago. How in the world was she even able to function? But she continues to make us feel as though she is the most privileged person in the world to have us visiting her home. I am humbled beyond words.

 We end up spending over two hours at Miguel’s home and sharing a meal together that was brought over from the project. We give them the gifts of food and toys that we brought and spend time talking about their life. I am thrilled to find out that Miguel wants to be a preacher someday so I ask if I can pray for him specifically. Praying that prayer has got to be one of the coolest things I have ever done. Sitting there holding his hands in mine while my prayer for him was translated into two languages was an experience that I will never, ever forget. I can’t wait to see what God has in store for little Miguel. I pray he uses him to reach the world.

 When we gather back at the project to say goodbye, the mood is a bit solemn. We spend a few minutes with the staff and Jeremy, the young leader of the center, breaks into tears as he tells us that our visit has given him the motivation to continue to press on. We ask to pray with them and it’s an emotional and Spirit-filled time. We call out to God to rescue these children in Jesus name. We pray for provision and grace and mercy. We thank Him for all he has done. Amazing.

 We exchange stories of our home visits on the way back to the hotel and it sounds like the other group had a great experience as well. I can’t wait to see the film footage of Katie at Norma’s house.

 That evening we are graced with the presence of two students from the region who have made it into Compassion’s leadership program, Antonio and Nicolas. Also joining us for dinner is Sister Juanita, a Director at a student center nearby. Over dinner the student’s share their testimonies and we learn that Nicolas was raised up through Sister Juanita’s program. She became a huge part of his life after his mother died when he was seven. Both boys are studying to get their degree in Business Administration. All of the confidence I had in Compassion’s Leadership Development Program before is now affirmed as I listen to their stories. Even though only a small percentage of children sponsored will make the program, it is still a very important program. These students are committed to returning to their homes to make a difference. God will certainly use them to do phenomenal things for His Kingdom, I have no doubt.

 Sister Juanita has never been married or had any children of her own. She has worked at a student center for over 30 years and has adopted a few children who haven’t had parents. She considers herself the Grandmother of their children and she tells us that it’s stories like Nicolas’s that keep her going, even in hard times.

 Our final night in Nebaj (ne-bach) ends well. Katie and I head back to the room lamenting about whether or not we will be able to sleep.

Tim had brought 4 packets of sponsored children from the project with him. He had shown them to me on the bus and asked me if I was interested at all in sponsoring one of them. And even though Katie pushed pretty hard, I really didn’t feel led to step up to the plate. Tim didn’t push, just placed the packets back in his backpack gently.

 After visiting Miguel’s home we were able to return to the center for some more time to observe the children in their classrooms. That is where I decided that I wanted to sponsor a child from this project before I left. However, what I really wanted was to sponsor the child that no one else wanted. I wanted the child from the project who had been waiting the longest for a sponsor with no response. So when Tim returned, I talked to him about it.

I think I stumped him because when he came back to me he had the same 4 packets he had shown me before. He explained that it would be difficult to find out the information that I wanted and he felt it was important that I meet the child while I was there. I didn’t think that was necessary, but I looked back over the packets and chose Gaspar. I had noticed him when I looked at them before. His photo was not very compelling and he was the oldest of the four children. Tim left to go talk to the staff to see if he was there and returned with him in tow.

 I knew right away that this was a match made in heaven. Gaspar was so shy that he could hardly look at me. He was so small for his age and didn’t speak any Spanish. When I was able to look into his eyes I could tell that his health wasn’t great by the yellow clouding his pupils. Isaias knew him well and quickly took on the chore to break the ice between the two of us. He translated to Ixil all of my words and stayed close while we were trying to bond.

 It took a bit, but Gaspar finally was able to raise his chin and speak with me face-to-face as well as give me several hugs. I found out that he wants to be a musician someday so he can praise God. An ambitious goal given how shy he is, so I admire him for that. We gather some gifts for him – a puzzle, a soccer ball, some other toys and when I give them to him his eyes light up like Christmas. Has this poor boy ever had anything like this happen to him before? Probably not.

 What a wonderful blessing this new addition to our family is going to be! I can’t wait to tell TJ and Rick and to send Gaspar some pictures and a letter.

We decided to hit the road early again and stop for breakfast after a couple of hours of travel. Unfortunately, the bus ride on the way back to Guatemala City was more tumultuous then on the way there. I have no idea why, but my stomach felt as if it were in my throat. By the time we reached the restaurant, I was green and the world around me was spinning. Tim helped me off the bus and I had to sit for about 30-minutes completely still before I could sip some hot tea. I ended up being able to get down about a half of a waffle and then I took some Dramamine for the rest of the bus ride.

 Prepared for the drugs to completely knock me out, I found a cozy corner on the bus and settled in. Everyone else made makeshift beds out of the rows of seats and quickly fell asleep. But I couldn’t rest. I was nervous about getting sick so I asked Myra if I could join her in the front seat. What a wonderful few hours I had talking with her! I found out more about her and her family as well as Guatemalan culture.

 We stopped for lunch at place specializing in Crepes (go figure!) and had a great lunch. Then we headed in to Antigua so that Tim could meet his sponsored child, Christa Lee.

 Antigua used to be the capitol of Guatemala so it’s a pretty big city. Cobbled streets and plenty of tourist shops abound. We got off the bus and headed to the Chocolate Factory where Tim was to meet Christa Lee. Compassion paid for a tour for all of us so we all got to learn about Cacao and how chocolate was made and even make some ourselves. It was SO much fun watching Tim share this experience with his sponsored child! She was a sweet little 5-year-old girl who was not shy at all. They immediately became friends.

Yes, prayer matters. Will you please take a minute to pray with me for the following:

  • Gods’ favor with several who are considering a significant gift to Dare 2 Share (many large requests have been presented)
  • Wisdom as we seek sponsors/partners for our 2012 conference tour
  • Safety, weather, and ministry effectiveness in Columbus, OH this weekend (expecting 5,000+ at conference)
  • Friends struggling with major health issues (specifically Mom/Jean, Susie, Julie, Susie, Jane, Dave)

Thank you!

So I’ve had a pretty turmultous couple of weeks. As a matter of fact, there were a few times I wanted to just get in the car and “drive.” You know what I mean… fill the tank up, grab a Starbucks, get behind the wheel and just drive until you’re so tired you have to pull over no matter where you end up. But I didn’t. Somehow, God gave me the strength to get through everything I was feeling and facing – and this morning I find myself thankful.

I can’t imagine what it would have been like to be a young girl, betrothed to the one she loved, then called by God to carry His child, then faced with a 70 mile journey on a donkey during the last month of that important pregnancy! And I think I have issues!

Mary’s faith and character have been a quiet reminder for me as I face the challenges I have in my own world. God seems to give us just enough of what we need when we need it to not just “get through” but to also keep our focus on Him in the process. I heard this from someone once…

God help me to give up worshipping the god of my expectations.

I know that this is a struggle for me. I like to have a plan and I expect to execute that plan. When things don’t quite go the way I envisioned, I can tend to get a bit crabby. And when several things don’t go as planned, I find myself swimming in the sea for the overwhelmed, bobbing up and down, trying to catch a few breaths of air.

I know we don’t have insight into Mary’s entire pregnancy, but it sure seems to me that she responds in a completely different way to all of her circumstances. I would guess that she didn’t expect to have to travel during her last month. I would guess that she wouldn’t have expected to give birth in a dusty, dirty stable. I would guess that she would of expected the birth of God’s Son to be a royal party not a humble occasion in the middle of the night. But she just waited and responded in the moment with faith in God and for His sovereign plan.

I want to be like her. God help me.

Today is the day.

About 10 years ago we put a pen to paper and came up with a goal at Dare 2 Share to

Train 1,000,000 Teenagers To Share Their Faith By June 30, 2010″

At the time the goal seemed right. It was prayed over and planned for. Strategies began to form and programs were developed. The last decade has been a whirlwind of pushing toward that one bullseye. Not only was it posted on every brochure and strategic plan, it was written on my heart.

So, here we are. June 30, 2010. Have we trained 1.000.000 teenagers to share their faith? Not quite. My best guess is that we are about a couple hundred thousand short. This reality started my day with a sober and bittersweet, somewhat nostalgic tone. I caught myself reflecting on the past and remembering the sweat, tears, and blessings. But as the day is coming to a close, I really feel thankful.

  • I am thankful for the opportunity to even have a goal like this laid on my heart. My prayer life is better for it.
  • I am thankful for the hundreds of thousands that were trained and I pray that they have trained hundreds of thousands of others that only God knows about.
  • I am thankful for the new vision goal of mobilizing teenagers to make disciples who make disciples. It is more complete and holistic and reflects the wonderful principle of multiplication.
  • I am thankful for those who have walked beside me through the journey. They have touched many a teenager’s lives and I can only hope I am present to see them get their rewards in heaven!
  • I am thankful that God’s timing is not mine. “Lest any man should boast.” I am not surprised now when He surprises me. What a great God we serve!

I wonder what the next 10 years will hold?

Today is the day.

About 10 years ago we put a pen to paper and came up with a goal at Dare 2 Share to

Train 1,000,000 Teenagers To Share Their Faith By June 30, 2010″

At the time the goal seemed right. It was prayed over and planned for. Strategies began to form and programs were developed. The last decade has been a whirlwind of pushing toward that one bullseye. Not only was it posted on every brochure and strategic plan, it was written on my heart.

So, here we are. June 30, 2010. Have we trained 1.000.000 teenagers to share their faith? Not quite. My best guess is that we are about a couple hundred thousand short. This reality started my day with a sober and bittersweet, somewhat nostalgic tone. I caught myself reflecting on the past and remembering the sweat, tears, and blessings. But as the day is coming to a close, I really feel thankful.

  • I am thankful for the opportunity to even have a goal like this laid on my heart. My prayer life is better for it.
  • I am thankful for the hundreds of thousands that were trained and I pray that they have trained hundreds of thousands of others that only God knows about.
  • I am thankful for the new vision goal of mobilizing teenagers to make disciples who make disciples. It is more complete and holistic and reflects the wonderful principle of multiplication.
  • I am thankful for those who have walked beside me through the journey. They have touched many a teenager’s lives and I can only hope I am present to see them get their rewards in heaven!
  • I am thankful that God’s timing is not mine. “Lest any man should boast.” I am not surprised now when He surprises me. What a great God we serve!

I wonder what the next 10 years will hold?

Almost five years ago I was given an anniversary gift of two airline tickets anywhere in the world that frequent flyer miles would take me. I was surprised and grateful. As a thank you for 10 years of service in ministry, my boss wanted me to take a little time off and travel. Wow! What a great gift!

My colleagues kept asking me, “Where will you go?” My response? “I’m not sure. I need to pray and plan and save some money, but there a lot of places I would love to see.” Okay. So it took me five years to do that… but hey, I’ve been busy!

Rick and I loved the two Carribean cruises we have taken so we started looking into a cruise. Something extraordinary, something we wouldn’t do on our own. We settled on the Mediterranean. I’ve dreamed of Greece and Italy – sure that I would never be able to actually get there. I found an itinerary that was perfect:

  • Venice, Italy
  • Dubrovnik, Croatia
  • Ephesus, Turkey
  • Santorini, Greece
  • Corfu, Greece
  • Venice, Italy

Seven days cruising with 4 full-day ports and then 3 days before/after the cruise in Venice!

The entire trip was a dream come true. Not only was the weather PERFECT, but we really didn’t have any travel headaches until we hit a delay on the way home through Washington, DC. It was as though God was smiling down on us and paving the way for a wonderful time. From the unsolicited upgrade to a suite stateroom to locals pointing us in the right direction at just the right time, the entire trip seemed to be one blessing right after another.

We went completely unplugged. No cells, no laptops. I was twitchy on day one but recovered quickly as I realized… I’m in Europe! It would be an understatement to say that I enjoyed getting reacquainted with my hubby of 27 years. I can’t explain the connection we had during this trip, but I kept thinking… “I’m really glad I married you!”

We jumped outside our comfort zone and spontaneously came up with our own little “adventures” every day. This wasn’t something we talked about – it just happened naturally – and it was a blast! Here are just a few of the highlights:

  • Getting lost – we intentionally got lost at least 3 times just to see where we would end up.
  • Do what the locals do – eat what they eat, go where they go. I was intrigued with the languages and tried my best to chime in. Rick gravitated toward the culinary side of things: unusual items on the menu and shopping at local markets.
  • Public transportation – I have no idea why we ended up exploring each of these countries best in mass transit, but we hit them all! We even eavesdropped on a British tour guide to figure out when to catch a bus… when in doubt, walk around until you hear someone speaking English.
  • You may never be back – We tried to remember this and go ahead and splurge a little. A midnight Gondola ride, a rental car in Corfu, a mid-afternoon snack with orchestra playing in St. Mark’s square…

The cruise itself did not disappoint either. Of course, we weren’t expecting a suite but sure were thrilled to have the extra room and all the amenities that go with it (I had no idea how well they treated the “suite” people til now). Our tablemates were interesting too – two mother/daughter couples, one from MI/MN and the other from NY. The girls were about 25, so we regretted not having TJ along! As usual, the ship was clean and the service was great, the food spectacular (and lots of it). We both got massages after a long, hot day in Turkey – what a treat!

But I have to tell you, the most memorable part of the trip was visiting Ephesus. I’ve not been to a lot of ruins, so I’m a bit of a rookie. But as we walked on the ancient marble roads and saw the city that was so powerful and had so much significance in our Christian heritage, I was overwhelmed. It took my breath away to realize what had happened there so long ago.

Pictures are on my Facebook page if you are interested.

It started with a scurry of activity and stress. Bundled with the typical seasonal obligations were the remnants of a trying time in ministry early in the month. But ready or not, I headed in. Committed to making this Bresina Christmas Eve more memorable and family-focused than last year’s “quick and dirty dinner out,” I took a full day off in advance to ensure I could host a bash. It was the first day of my 14-day out-of-office stint, and I had a list of to-do’s.

Along with the to-do list was a couple of healthy (albeit difficult) commitment objectives I set for myself for this short-term sabbatical:

  • Focus on relationships (especially the ones that had suffered the most from the intensity of the past few months).
  • Rest.
  • Create some space to get “my head straight”.
  • Don’t work! (D2S stuff that is…)

Christmas Eve was a hit and everyone invited save one came and partook of the annual Bresina stinky (but delicious I am told) Oyster Stew. We didn’t get any extended family talked into joining us for candlelight worship services in Brighton at 11 pm, but I just don’t think our family is up to staying up that late. I will have to work out something different for next year. Christmas came and went and was filled with great food and fellowship and thankful hearts.

Remarkably, I came close to finishing the list and with one major exception, feel pretty good about keeping my commitment objectives. It took me a full week, but I finally began to relax. I spent almost an entire day unplugged and with the Lord. I had some great coffee times complemented by outstanding conversation. I saw three movies and went shopping with 8-year-olds for hermit crabs. The craft room is organized and I can see the top of my desk in our home office. I spent an afternoon painting platters with my closest confidant. I loved on my hubby, my son, my mom and dad, and many others. It was awesome!

But sadly, it’s now over. It’s time to hit 2010 head-on and accomplish His purpose for His glory! My desire this year is to continually be in prayer and to draw closer to my Savior. I want to rest in Him and allow Him to be the true authority in my life. As I head into the new year, these are the things I want to put first:

  • Making my relationship with Jesus my top priority.
  • Taking care of myself (sleep, exercise, eating right).
  • Pray without ceasing.
  • Love — purely, sincerely, honestly.
  • Model what I ask of others.

Here we go!

French philosopher Montaigne has said of the battle at Thermopylae,

There are triumphant defeats that rival victories.”

This may seem like a contridiction or merely a play on words, but have you ever seriously thought about it? Today, studying a chapter from Os Guinness’s book The Call, I was faced with a new thought challenge. How can you have a triumphant defeat?

Mr. Guinness makes a strong case for our attitude and behaviour in the midst of a battle, explaining how a small group of Spartans fought courageously so many years ago, fighting with hands and teeth when their swords were gone. Knowing that we live in a fallen world, and knowing that in the end the victory is His and not ours, I wonder if God is watching and waiting for us to “behave as if He would wish us to behave?”

I have certainly experienced my own version of a battle this past year. And I know that I was not always fighting through it with courage and dedication. What a great reminder today from 2 Timothy 4!

  • Preach the Word – I can’t preach it if I don’t know it. I need to study this letter to me and then unashamedly share it with others.
  • Be Prepared – Along with studying the Word in preparation, my relationship with Him must come first. I do not want to be a fake.
  • Teach and Encourage – Encouragement may come easily for me, but do I act on every nudge from the Spirit? Teaching is not as natural for me since I am relentlessly impatient. But the Lord has surrounded me with amazing students, I need to be obedient and teach when it is called for.
  • Keep a Clear Mind – Yes, in every situation. <pause> Not sure what else to say…
  • Don’t Be Afraid of Suffering – I realize that it is laziness that has motivated me to ask for an end to the suffering that I have experienced personally. I just don’t want to expend the energy needed to fight. I suppose this is where I need to look to my “Spartan” friends for inspiration and face the fight head on. It’s a time to stand!
  • Work at Telling Others the Good News – Even though I work for Dare 2 Share, I still stink at sharing Christ boldly. I love the fact that this is a work in progress. It is progress in this area that I truly desire – may I be a better witness this year than last.
  • Fully Carry Out the Ministry God has Given Me – for whatever reason, I am where I am. I need to fully carry out what He has called me to do right now.

I want to end this post with a great quote from The Call:

A time to stand is a time to behave as our Lord would wish us to behave. A time to behave is a time to believe as He has taught us to believe. A time to believe is a time to move from small, cozy formulations of faith to knowing what it is to be called by Him as the deepest, most stirring, and most consuming passion of our lives.”

If I face any defeat in my future Lord, let me face it with a triumphant resolve for Your glory!